Ninjas
by The 72nd Gunslinger
Summary: Aya's summer vacation is ruined when an unexpected event occurs. Rated T for rough langauge, extremely hilarious situations, and a bit of intentional bad grammar.


I DON'T OWN PARASITE EVE. IF I DID, THIS WOULD BE AN IN-GAME SCENE! I also don't own

kleenex.

December 6, 2000

Motel Bronco, Dryfield

Just a month or so after the Shelter incident, Aya became known as a countrywide-known

Agent, almost a celebrity. to, to escape the public, she took a vacation to California. On the way, Aya,

Eve, Kyle and Pierce stopped in the Dryfeild Motel Bronco for the night. It was a two-day trip, so

what the hell!

Aya came because, well, it was her idea.

Eve was under the care of Aya, so she had to come.

Kyle came because he helps Aya out with Eve, and they are kinda in a minor relationship.

Pierce came because Aya knew he would tell everyone where they went if he stayed.

Aya and Eve rented a room, and Kyle and Pierce shared a room.

"Kyle, why did you have to go and say that? I could've had the night to myself with Aya!" Pierce

tossed a pillow at Kyle as an expression of his mild anger at Kyle for reccommending that the men

rent one room and the women take another.

"Ah, no! It would be ME that Aya atayed with!" Kyle retorted, tossing the pillow back. "You wish!

Aya wouldn't choose you if her life depended on it!" Pierce flicked a booger at Kyle, who wiped it

off with a kleenex(tm). "Well, if you ask me, I think Aya likes MEN, not women!" He jokingly punched

Pierce lightly on the shoulder. "So, what reason would she have to pick you!" Pierce hit him back.

"Well, at least I'm not nicknamed 'The Horny Gunman!'" ...there was a few moments of silence...

"Shut up!"

Pierce tackled Kyle. "Hey, quit it! I was kidding...ow...ow! OW! MAN, QUIT IT!" Pierce began to jab

his Pencil (WRITING UTENSIL, YOU PERVERT!) into Kyle's stomach. Kyle wrestled him off and they

began to fight. After awhile, they calmed down.

"Okay, Kyle...let's ask AYA what she thinks!" Pierce wiped the blood/sweat mixture from his face.

"I'm for it!" Kyle replied.

He approached the door and tried to turn the knob, but..."Hey, it's stuck!" He tried to turn it, but it

wouldn't turn. It was JAMMED!

"No! Nononononononononono! I can't be stuck in here...with, with...YOU!" Pierce rammed the

door. "H...help! HELP!"  
Pierce began to yell. "What the hell are you doing, man!" Kyle shoved Pierce from the door. He

juggled the lock. He pulled the knob. He pulled, and then he tried to slam it open, but instead...it fell

to the floor. In its place, a hole about the width of a paperclip.

"No...oh god...NOO!" The two began to pound on the wall that separated Aya's room from

theirs. "HELP US! HELP!"

BAM BAM! Aya pounded angrily on the wall, signaling to Kyle and Pierce to quiet down. "Stupid

wannabe hunters. You know, I have NEVER seen either one of them actually kill an NMC. I've seen

them shoot, I've seen them run, but never kill. I always did the killing!" Eve finished combing her hair

and entered the main area of the room. "Come on, you've told me that a million times! It's

not like they can hear you or nuthin', anyway!"She climbed into bed and jumped at the sound of

another bang. Aya pounded her fist

on the wall. "Shuddap!" She yelled. The pounding continued, so Aya pressed her hand to the wall

and it began to heat up. Suddenly,

the bangs turned into cries of pain, then silence. Eve and Aya laughed silently, and went to sleep.

The next day, to everyone's unknowledge, was Pierce's birthday. He knew, and everyone

else would soon, too.

Kyle woke up yelling shut up, as Pierce's face was nearly less than an inch from his. Pierce was

singing the song he does every year on his birthday...all day...every day...for a week afterward...

every year...starting on his birthday. "Someone's got a birthday, I wonder who? Someone's got

a birthday, I wonder who?" Kyle shoved Pierce off onto the floor, who continued to sing almost

subconciously. "Someone's got a birthday, I wonder who?" Kyle tried to open the door, and

remembered it was jammed. "DAMN! We're stuck here! Pierce,

get one of those paperclips off the desk!" Pierce was still lying in the floor, now in the fetal

position, still singing. "Damnit, it's gonna be

a long day." Kyle grabbed a paperclip and began to try and pick the lock.

Aya and Eve got their clothing on and waited outside for Pierce and Kyle.

"Where the hell are they!" Aya checked her watch angrily. "They were supposed to be here at 3:00

and it's 5:00!" Eve gave her the suspicious look, and Aya got the idea Eve was trying to

communicate. "That is NASTY! But probably true, nonetheless."

Kyle dialed the number of the New Owner of Motel Bronco, Gary Douglas. "C'mon, damnit!

Ring!" The phone began to ring

very, very slowly. "Oh, for chrissakes!" Then the answering machine picked up. "Believe it or not,

Gary isn't at home, please leave a messaaaaaage at the beep bum ba bum ba bum I must be out,

or I'd pick up the phone. Where--could--I--BEE! Believe it or not, I'm not HOOOOME!" Kyle

slammed the phone onto the hook, but missed and it fell to the floor and ripped the cord. "No..no...

no! DAMN!" His next plan would've been to call Aya's Celphone number, but it was too late. He

was stuck with a singing horny gunman who was afraid of guns.

"Aya, let's just go! It's getting hot out here!" Aya shook her canteen and realized it was

empty, so she tossed it into the sand behind them. "ROAD TRIP!" She yelled.

Kyle held Pierce and was trying to use him as a ram to open the door. Ever since he laid

down on his back and began to sing, he had been stiff as a board. "Open, you damn door! OPEN!"

Kyle was about to go insane, as Pierce had not stopped singing, even for

a second, since six o'clock that morning. Kyle wondered how Pierce was able to breathe while doing

that.

The door came crashing open at the last second before Aya and Eve left. Kyle saw Aya

starting the car and dragged Pierce's singing limp body over to the car screaming, "Don't leave me!"

Aya saw they were coming and got out of the car. "Where the HELL were you guys! We were

waiting here for TWO HOURS!" Eve got out and dove onto the floor. Right as Kyle was about to

ask what Eve was doing, she began gnashing his leg with her teeth. "Ow! GOD! Knock it off!" He

flailed helplessly as Eve held tightly to his leg, while Pierce was lying in the sand behind them.

Aya just stared and sighed, "This is going to be a L-O-N-G vacation..."

Later, in the car, Eve sat in the front with Aya while Kyle sat in the back with Pierce's stiff

body lying over his. Pierce was still singing, and everyone knew it wouldn't do any good to say

shut up. It wouldn't. Really. It really, really wouldn't. Really, really. Really.

"Aya, are we there yet?" Kyle started whining. "No, Kyle, we're NOT there yet! We weren't

there the LAST SIXTEEN times you asked me, either! We've only been in the car for TEN

MINUTES, for chrissakes!" Kyle poked his lip out and then went to sleep. Aya noticed that they

were passing an...oh, god, no...Pokemon Central Store! Aya was about to pass it, praying to the

lord that Eve would not see it. Almost, she was passing it, a little more...oh, no! Eve started to look

behind! Eve gasped. "No!" Aya cried out. It was too late. Eve had seen it. "STOP THE CAR!"

Six hours later, they were back on the road again. Kyle was playing Pokemon Perrywinkle,

the latest pokemon game, on his Spiffy new Lame Boy Color, with Fuschia Coating!

Eve was asleep in the front seat with all 650 Billion of her new pokemon action figures,

plush dolls, Lameboy versions, Video tapes, Bubble Gum, undergarments, garments, pencils,

pens, textbooks, soda cans, books, TV sets, and all that good stuff.

Pierce was still singing his birthday song.

Aya was driving, half asleep.

The next day, they reached the San Fransisco Hotel. As in Dryfield, Aya and Eve shared

a room while Kyle and Pierce shared a room. Pierce had finally stopped singing, and everyone was

happy. Really. But since it was only seven in the morning, everyone went out to do their own thing.

"Kyle, what do you think of this one?" Pierce and Eve were trying out different outfits

while Kyle sat on a mall bench. "Pierce, that Green Prom Dress looks great on you!" Pierce danced

around so Eve could see the whole outfit. Meanwhile, all of the passersby

looked at Pierce and Kyle, who were watching Eve, and assumed...well, you can figure it out.

Aya figured she'd go manhunting, so she wore the leather jacket outfit and carried the

trusty M93R handgun. The first place she went was the mall.

Kyle sighed as Pierce continued to prance around the town with his green prom dress

with Eve. But, they had to stay together because they had to be back at the hotel by 9:00 at night.

Meanwhile, Eve and Pierce were making jokes about Kyle. "Okay, okay, I got one! tongue-kiss a

lizard...or take a shower in Kyle's bathroom!" Pierce phhed at the question. "Lizard, duh! Try this

one...put a live wasp up your nose...or take a shower in Kyle's bathroom!" Eve hesitated before

replying. "Wasp. I've got to go with wasp." Kyle pivoted around and met Pierce at eyepoint. "WHY

does the other choice ALWAYS have to be 'take a shower in Kyle's bathroom!" Eve and Pierce

exchanged laughing glances. Then Pierce said, "Come on, Kyle! Everyone knows you have a hole

drilled in the wall of your shower at waist level! That, and you probably...you know...in the shower."

"HEY! That's not true...besides, that's my OWN business!" Eve and Pierce laughed at him and

continued down the street. Then, some guy from San Fransisco walked up to Kyle. "Sir, you jerk off

in the shower!" Kyle's mouth hung. "What...! Okay, my friend is a Gunman and he's afraid of guns,

he's wearing a PROM DRESS, and you're harassing ME about doing something that just about

EVERY PERSON in America does!" He acknowledged the sudden silence and noticed that every

person on the block was staring. "Heh...er...hi, everyone...let's go now... bye-bye..." Pierce, trying

to break the sudden silence, suddenly blurted out "NINJAS!" Everyone looked behind them to see

that...there were no ninjas. When they turned around, Pierce, Kyle and Eve were gone.

"Guys, looks like this trip took a turn for the worse!" The trio of terror sat in an alley near

the hotel as the whole city was searching for them. Eve pointed across the street. "Let's make a run

for it. The hotel is just across the street!" Kyle pulled out his trusty Magnum. "I

say we go for it, too! I'm sick of running around in this big scary city!" Pierce looked for his weapon,

but...oh, no! He left it in his MIST outfit, which was three miles back at the Secondhand clothing

store! "NO! I left my rock sack at the store!" Eve and Kyle stared blankly. "Let's go!" Eve took off

running shortly before a voice was heard shouting "There they are! In that alley! GET 'EM!" Kyle

and Pierce ran out into the street to see an extremely hurried yellow Technicolor Carryal Trunk

zooming in their direction! It was... the tail end of Aya's car! She did a 180 and opened the doors.

"Get in, quick!" She motioned for them to get in. They jumped inside. She hit a button on the door.

The windows started to roll up very, very slowly. Aya panicked as she saw...reporters. Papparazzi.

"That's it... I've had it! COME AND GET SOME!" She popped the trunk and pulled out her full-auto

M4A1 Assault Rifle! "You want a story? I'll give you a story!" Aya Brea burns down San Fransisco!"

She flipped the switch to turn it to full-auto and opened fire on the townsfolk. As she realized she only

had two clips left, she strapped the rifle around her neck, rushed to the car and took off, hitting seven

people in the process.

Later, they stopped the car in a forest due to a shortage of gas. "Great... another trip ruined.

Thanks a LOT, guys!" Aya kicked the trunk open and took out her M93R and SP12 shotgun. "I'm gonna go

look for a gas station. I think I saw one about six miles back. You two stay here and watch Eve!" Aya

started on down the road.

"So...guess we're stuck here." Kyle loaded the 4 clips for his magnum that he brought. He didn't

think he would have to use them, but just in case..."So what do we do now?" Eve jumped up onto the

hood of the car, crushing Pierce, who was looking at a leak in the gas tank. How the gas tank got underneath

the car, I do NOT know. "Well...you could start by GETTING OFF THE HOOD!" Pierce slowly crawled out

from beneath the vehicle. "I think we should try and patch up the gas leak." Kyle pulled a smushed clip from

his pocket. "We could strip the metal from this and use it! I mean, it IS a small hole." There was a rustle in a

nearby bush. Pierce flipped around in his newly trimmed Prom Skirt. Still green, but now even LESS manly!

"NINJA!" He ran up to the bush and did a surprising 360-degree kick up into the air, sending the person

from the bush flying backward. Kyle and Eve ran over to see who it was... it was...IT WAS...A NINJA!

"HAYAAAAA!" Pierce started beating on the ninja, and took his shurikens after he passed out. "Here,

now I can fight too!" He put the stars in his pocket. Then, there was another rustle. "NINJAS!" Kyle,

Eve and Pierce backed together, for they were surrounded by...Ninjas. Ninjas with stars, Ninjas with

Nunchakus, ninjas with Katanas...you name it, one of the Ninjas probably used it. One ninja even had a

kitchen sink! "This is bad...We're surrounded!" Kyle crouched into the fetal position, while Eve began

tackling and strangling ninjas left and right. Pierce threw a star in Eve's direction. She leapt up into a tree

and the star collided with one ninja, went threw him and hit two more. Eve swung in a 360-degree circle

around the branch she was on and kicked another ninja in the face. There were no ninjas left. Eve and

Pierce killed all of them. Kyle got up and they started up the car. They had 1/25 a tank of gas, but they

got good mileage in Aya's car. They managed to drive it six feet to the road.

Aya was about three miles down the road when suddenly..."NINJAS!" Sixty Billion ninjas

jumped out of the ground and threw stuff at Aya. She used her M4A1 on full-auto to wipe the floor with

their ninja ass. Then, a big scary fat ninja came up and said. "Im a big scary fat ninja FEAR ME!" She

filled him with lead and he kept coming so she punched him but the flubber made her fly backward so

she said "Pyrokinesis" and fire went everywhere and the fat ninja melted.

Back with Eve and Pierce and Kyle, they were pushing the car after Aya. Then some ninjas

jumped out of the car. "NINJAS!" Pierce beat them up so they cried and Pierce said "Im sorry" and

they felt better so they went home.

THE END!


End file.
